March 28, 2021
F.O.G. stands for Fear Obligation and Guilt. I have been manipulated with these in the past. By narcissists liars.
Edi was/is a narcissist liar. She said all the right things but she lied. She hunted so she could use nurturing men, she used me as conservative cover for her gayness. I guess what I feel guilty about is that I believed her when she said I was using her resources to live on to help me get an education. My family therapist said getting an education improves income in a relationship. The rational response is I treated it as an expected thing in a relationship.
I chose to go along with the acquiring of a house plan, but I wasn't consulted, it was a done deal her father financed it, I was simply told it was going to happen. I was headed for art school on my 4th attempt, if I was to afford it, it was better to move even though I preferred and still do prefer an apartment. I was in love and had yet to learn to be assertive. I became the hired hand, the house slave.
She and Teresa Knight were/are much the same in looks, body style and communication, the passive aggressiveness of conditional relationship.
Neither honest nor open in their lack of forthcoming.
She dumped me when she was through with me. I was becoming a liability to her lies, pissing off her conservative friends and family by being openly Liberal.
I became very irritable at the frustration of the promise of love the lie of it, love instead given to girlfriends and cats.
I was neglected and abandoned so she could spend our time together conservatively fundraising for charity, which I oppose, I prefer the government to use common resources.
Finally, she told me to leave. I felt guilty and obligated, fearful, having been manipulated for so long, I wouldn't do it myself, Stockholm syndrome.
Her father used her mother much the same way. When her mother was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease he threw her out, she walked in front of a bus.
Her sister Marylin died of Huntington's last month, I just saw the obit. That means Edi is still alive with Huntington's warehoused in long-term care somewhere.
The family therapist said to leave her and not look back. Still good advice I find.