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When you lose an arm do everything you can to deal with it, then ignore it

REBT Network: Albert Ellis | Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

The works of Dr. Albert Ellis and the theory and practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).


In encountering the death of former in-law to Huntington’s and finding my ex-wife still in LTC with same I lost my ability to feel, but a week later it has returned, this is the anniversary of our split, the therapist said to leave when I was thrown out one day don’t look back this is the disease process of her brain disintegrating, you have a responsibility to your own life, not to watch her die for decades of mental and physical decline attacking you as she gets more aggressive.

For 3 years I sat numbly in a coffee shop writing in a journal studying the work of Dr. David Burns, the Feeling Good guy, that the therapist gave me a lifesaver thrown to a man drowning in despair until eventually, I found http://rebtnetwork.org and discovered I was basing my self-esteem on horrific loss.

The advice was to throw the notion of self-esteem in the trash. Stop fighting with it and other people’s problems and walk. But where? To satisfaction. To have self-esteem I had to make a living as an artist, it’s all conditional, that was insane, making shit for conservative advertisers.

So, I took my little car, went couriering like a sailor on the sea transporting from port to port, lived a regular healthy life and went back to my creativity no longer at the mercy of imagined dislikes of me by others and myself based on conditions.

Until this week 20 years later it all re-emerged with the passing of the former in-law. They said then at the hospital it would all come back, but it wouldn’t stay.

They were right as it turns out. ‘When you lose an arm do everything you can to deal with it, then ignore it and focus on satisfaction. You may not have as many choices, but you still have some - Albert Ellis’

Best. Advice. Ever.

Easter. Jerald Blackstock. 2001